A phobia?

We saw the new pediatric neurologist on Monday. She seemed nice and was easy to talk to. She didn’t seem to look down her nose at us – which is always good, and a real plus in my book.

The new doc seems to think that K-Oz’s current issues with bugs – more accurately flying bugs – is more of a new phobia, rather than an obsession or compulsion. We went to the zoo before the doctor’s appointment and while there went into a butterfly room. There were butterflies flittering everywhere – which I simply adored – but I was concerned about K-Oz. We gave him the option of not going inside, but he wanted to check it out, and he did very well. He flinched and twitched and I could tell he was on edge, but he made it through without freaking out. I was so proud of him!

Our next step is to find a psychologist to help K-Oz explore this possible fear and also his anger issues. The new doc felt the anger and impulse issues were more related to his ADHD and possibly hormones – pre-pubescent hormones, actually.

So, we’ll see what happens. For now, we’re just doing like always – one day at a time. Some days are good – some days aren’t. There are days when I feel like my own head will explode or implode or melt from frustration, aggravation, or heartbreak for my child.

Today? Today’s a good day. Today is actually K-Oz’s 12th birthday – and I am thinking about how blessed I am to have this wonderful son and his two beautiful sisters. No matter how much heartache or emotional pain my children might bring on various days – every tear and every swallowed scream are worth it. Because I love my children more than my own life.